in my space, i often run across something that recalls events
that have shaped my life.
one of these was a small 2" x 2" piece of paper
that had yellowed and appeared to have been worn
the way paper that is handled over and over does.
it was intentionally small enough
to fit in a wallet or a pocket, and i suspect
that it was carried by my father
who was a recovering alcoholic for more than
half his life, or possibly my mother
whose life was altered by his disease.
my first memory of a social situation
with my parents was when i was about
5 or 6 years old and we were attending
a new year's eve party. as i recall, it was
held upstairs at the masonic lodge
(a decade later i would climb those same stairs when i
went to rainbow girls meetings).
there is a photo of me at that new year's party, with
a pointed hat and a noisemaker. i remember the adults
drinking lots of coffee and years later
AA meetings continued to be a part of my father's life,
where he scanned telephone books whenever we would
find ourselves in a new city.....making sure that he knew
who to call or where to go if he was having any difficulties.
i know he succumbed to his demons once or twice
during my growing up years, but for the most part he was sober.
i now realize that addictions come in many forms
(i smoked for years before kicking the habit,
and i still struggle with a shopping addiction).
the words on that yellowed, worn little paper can be applied
to any life. i am sure that my mother and father influenced my life
in a positive way by living each day by those words.
just for today
just for today i will try to live through this day only, and not tackle all my problems at once. i can do something for twelve hours that would appall me if i felt that i had to keep it up for a lifetime.
just for today i will be happy. this assumes to be true what Abraham Lincoln said, that "most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be."
just for today i will adjust myself to what is, and not try to adjust everything to my own desires. i will take my "luck" as it comes, and fit myself to it.
just for today i will try to strengthen my mind. i will study, i will learn something useful. i will not be a mental loafer. i will read something that requires effort, thought and concentration.
just for today i will exercise my mind in three ways: i will do somebody a good turn, and not get found out; if anybody knows of it, it will not count. i will do at least two things i don't want to do--just for exercise. i will not show anyone that my feelings are hurt, they may be hurt, but today i will not show it.
just for today i will be agreeable. i will look as well as i can, dress becomingly, keep my voice low, be courteous, criticize not one bit. i won't find fault with anything, not try to improve or regulate anybody but myself.
just for today i will have a program. i may not follow it exactly, but i will have it. i will save myself from two pests: hurry and indecision.
just for today i will have a quiet half hour all by myself, and relax. during this half hour, sometime, i will try to get a better perspective of my life.
just for today i will be unafraid. especially i will not be afraid to enjoy what is beautiful, and to believe that as i give to the world, so the world will give to me.
(published and approved by world service conference. Al-Anon family groups)
